I mean, ok, there’s some kind of counterculture, of course. But in our media saturated world, styles tend to be cyclical.

But hey, who am I to judge? I’m tricked out over here like Jimmy Buffet, as befits my “unc” status. 😆

I first got online in 1990 for a college project: to witness in real time the collapse of the Eastern Bloc and the end of the Cold War.

Thirty five years later, I’m an adult on the other side of a career as a historian and witnesses in real time the collapse of the West and the end of the post-Cold War system.

That’s wild, brah. Who wrote the script for this movie? 😬

It’s been a busy 35 years on the internet. I’ve done what I can to stay at the forefront and track the development of Gutenberg 2.0. The amount of change I’ve seen in our way of thinking and society in general is historic.

I’ve long been a defender of the internet and its benefits, yet in recent years I’ve questioned that. Seems like the universal library I dreamed about turned into a disinformation machine and people were not ready to deal with it.

The internet was a gift, one that many of us were not ready for. It became a battleground for control of information and the narrative.

As much as I’ve loved the internet, there will always be a part of me that misses the old analog days.

I mean, sh!t is cray, as we used to say back in the day. Sometimes I feel like I’m live blogging the collapse.

When I was young I was super into the history, art, and mythology of ancient civilizations. Mesopotamia, Egypt, Greece, Rome, Mesoamerica. Their rise, their flourishing, and then their fall.

It seems to me all of the civilizations that ended faced a problem they could not overcome. This was usually an internal problem such as the end of a source or a character flaw like willing ignorance.

It wilds me out that we’re probably facing a collapse of our own. I so do not want this to happen, but the sad fact is, the people who should be defending and holding us up… have let us down.

Is there hope? Well, sure, but hope requires understanding and then action. And if people don’t understand what’s going on and don’t take action, well…

Then the other hope lies in the passage of time. But we’re talking eras, not years and not even decades. I’m talking epochs.

Rome fell and after languishing in the Dark Ages, a portion of its culture was eventually reborn as the Italian Renaissance, which after its while and counterargument, finally led to the Enlightenment. But that took a long, long time.

More recently, and because of my background, I think about Germany, a nation that peaked in the late nineteenth century and then utterly torched that high point. And it’s taken them decades to recover from that, and ironically enough, they’re the ones holding the bag for democracy. Now there’s a twist that nobody would have predicted in 1945 or even in 1989.

What could be reborn from our collapse?

Of course I can’t exactly see that, since I’m living through it.

I wonder though, if it will be our humor that will be reborn. I’ve always thought that when we traded the sitcom for the reality show we lost something about ourselves. But what if someone in the future sees those old shows and thinks they were the high point? Imagine a world where Cheers and Friends are seen as the important ancient texts. That’s wild and maybe weirdly karmic?

Imagine also if a future anthropologist looked at the way people are reacting to chicken jockey as a sacred ritual? Omg, I can see the paper titles:

Chicken Jockey: Toward a New Understanding of Communal Ritual in Public Spaces

We Ride the Chicken: Domestic Fowl Symbolism in the Levels of Existence

At least that’s human-generated content, though. Because imagine this: what the people of the future think AI generated content was the true record of us? Heaven help us, then.

And yet, and yet… what if the ancient texts we take so seriously were in themselves AI generated and by that I mean, a scribe sat down and wrote a lot of good ol’ basic bullsh!t. And here we are taking seriously what was an ancient prank.

I think the point of life is to develop consciousness. Then it becomes a struggle about who influences perception and consciousness. There’s the idea that whoever controls consciousness somehow “wins.” I put win in scare quotes because the attempt to control the consciousness of others often backfires.

So what are we to do? What’s the good and helpful path to take? How do we cope and how much copium is required?

Riders into the Abyss: The Cultural Significance of Chicken Jockey

I don’t know yet. In the meantime, I will continue live-blogging the collapse.

Anyway, moving on…
 

Took a long walk. Beautiful day but the sun was strong. Working on pictures I took of a poppy mini-bloom.
 

I’ve been watching the performances at Coachella and wow, Lady Gaga’s set was so good. Mother Monster is so generous to her fans.

Tuning in again now as Jimmy Eat World starts their set. Waiting for Charli XCX.

I have to smile because I think about how 25 years ago the Valley was still mostly empty desert. And Indio is old agricultural town, too. Then as the population grew and started to trend younger, they came up with the festival as a tourist draw.

I hope people are drinking enough water, though, as it's already in the mid-90s in April.

We’re told from the get go what we should be. But how many of us think over what we could be?

Because if we don’t think about who we really are as individuals, we grow up performing for and living for others while becoming further and further estranged from ourselves.

Some, if they lucky, and if they encounter people who present different points of view, and if they are open minded enough to listen to other, may begin to find their estranged self in the form of a quarter or mid life crisis.

I was one of the “lucky” ones to go through a quarter life crisis. And I qualify lucky, because while I’m thankful it happened, it was a rough time in my life. Nonetheless, I was fortunate to meet people who challenged my the belief system I had then and introduced me to new ways of looking at life. And I had a lot to unlearn! Because I was still open minded enough to receive new information, I could go through something of a Hegelian thesis-antithesis-synthesis process. After that, I started on a more authentic path of life for the second act of my life.

And I still work on learning, as I contemplate the third act. Personal growth is never done, it continues, but again, only if someone is willing to keep growing.

For others, this process happens in their 40s. The midlife crisis if recognized for what it is can yield rewards and a more authentic way of life.

I recall an acquaintance who went down this path. When I first met her, she had attained a certain level of success and wealth. Then we lost contact for a while. When we coincidentally (synchronistically?) ran into each other at a store, I asked her if she was still at the old job. She paused, laughed, and said, “No, I went back to school and now work as a physical therapist.”

That’s a classic midlife crisis with a positive resolution. She used the money and leverage she had to create a more rewarding and heart-centered life.

But unfortunately, not everyone is lucky or willing enough to go through that process. They don’t want to hear other points of view, don’t want to learn, and remain the same person who performs a role for others. They become more and more estranged from their authentic selves.

And where does the repressed energy go? Sometimes it folds back on the person in the form of mental illness and addictions. I know of cases of people who have passed because of illness and self neglect due to addictions. The people in their lives are shocked, but if you look at the details, it becomes clear: that person was living out a role, a script for someone else, and used an addiction to cover up the negative feelings of depression, anger, resentment, etc. until their body couldn’t take it anymore. It’s tragic.

Another type will go in the opposite direction and project their frustration and anger onto an another person or group, turning the targeted group into a scapegoat.

Now, as a historian of World War II and the Holocaust, I know how that story turns out.

And the thing is, no matter how many millions of people the repressed-turned-oppressors target and even kill, that action still will not and never will, soothe or heal the rage. That action will only result in death and destruction and more destruction down the line all the way to a dead end.

Because those who project onto others and live for external answers are vulnerable to all kinds of bad ideas and snake oil cures. They will rush over and pay out money or their dignity for solutions that in the long run, only serve the oppressors.

The better way to heal the split self and to find a more authentic way is to be willing to look within, think critically, and ask, Who am I really? Who am I beyond the role I play? Who am I beyond the family I was born into it? Who am I beyond my school, my job? and Is the information I’m receiving from this source valid? Is it really helpful? Or is it a grift or scam?

I wish more people would value self-knowledge. We’d be a happier and healthier society overall.

Man, what a joke this all is.