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The Difference
May. 4th, 2024 07:05 amMusing about the difference between healthy and toxic shame.
Healthy shame is about putting boundaries around behaviors according to societal rules such as covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
Toxic shame is browbeating someone over immutable characteristics, their struggles and challenges, or circumstances they do not control.
Abusers know this and use shame to damage their victim’s perception of life and self because abusers themselves are controlled by toxic shame which they refuse to acknowledge and instead project onto others. When the othered person or group refuses the shame, the abusers go into a rage, creating more abuse.
A toxic cycle, caused by toxic shame.
Abusers often take on the personalities of the ones who abused them (usually parents) and because they won’t introspect or self-reflect, can’t change or evolve.
I wonder this dysfunction is the origin of the vampire myth.
Healthy shame is about putting boundaries around behaviors according to societal rules such as covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
Toxic shame is browbeating someone over immutable characteristics, their struggles and challenges, or circumstances they do not control.
Abusers know this and use shame to damage their victim’s perception of life and self because abusers themselves are controlled by toxic shame which they refuse to acknowledge and instead project onto others. When the othered person or group refuses the shame, the abusers go into a rage, creating more abuse.
A toxic cycle, caused by toxic shame.
Abusers often take on the personalities of the ones who abused them (usually parents) and because they won’t introspect or self-reflect, can’t change or evolve.
I wonder this dysfunction is the origin of the vampire myth.
