light of the mind

It was a struggle to get out of bed this morning because it was so darn cold. Our cat certainly didn’t want us to leave the nest.

Now the rain has returned. Will have to go out again at some point ugh. We need the rain and I hope there will be a good snowpack, but ugh. No matter how well I suit up, I always feel damp and chilled in this time of weather.

Had some interesting dreams last night about living in another timeline or parallel earth. We were all happy over there.

Our collective fear of sadness and melancholy blocks recognition of the gifts they can bring.

The study of Jungian psychology inspires me to call depression melancholy and melancholia instead because the terms give the state of mind some respect.

It’s a challenge to accept melancholia in a society that is set against it, is afraid of it, and instead encourages anger. Our current times especially prefer the destructive, infantile type of rage aspect of anger, and not the righteous anger based in a recognition of injustice. Instead of movement toward a better world, there’s a stewing in toxicity and lashing out against the Other.

I think the foremost reason why our society prefers anger to melancholia is because the state of sadness and the reflection it creates doesn’t serve capitalism and politics in the way anger does.

Depressed people resist while angry people can be manipulated to join an ideology and act at the behest of the ideology’s leader.

Depressed people withdraw and reflect; angry people go out and join. An extraverted, materialistic society that views “normality” as having things and being loud would then prefer anger over melancholy.

What are the gifts of melancholy? Introspection and a deeper relationship with self and ultimately the world.

Melancholy leads us down into the subconscious, the underworld of memories, dreams, and the hidden gems of the mind. This journey invites us to get to know ourselves better, to develop more empathy for our suffering, and in turn, for the suffering of others.

Melancholy leads to a deepening of the character. And it can feel lonely.Yet the paradox of being alone in the underworld is that we realize… we’re not alone. There is a whole human history of people who were misunderstood, forgotten, or persecuted, and they ask us to remember them.

It’s the imperfect moments that make us human and the imperfect moments that works as points of authentic insight and inspiration.

If the symbol of the waking, conscious world is the sun, then then symbol of underworld consciousness is a dark sun. And under its dark light is a wisdom that enlightens the soul.

A rainy day, an actual day of all day rain! Good for the environment.

But it’s been a long day. Had to get up early for the handyman to fix the busted pipes, then out to an event. On the way back, I got totally soaked, even with an umbrella. Couldn’t wait to get home and change into dry clothes.

Made plans to go to the botanical gardens this weekend. With this rain shower, there will be flowers.

Also working on my dream journal to track repeating themes and motifs. Recent dreams have repeatedly featured stairs and staircases. I find stairs interesting as a type of liminal space and deliberate stopping or sitting on stairs is a liminal experience.

Thinking about stairs triggered a memory, and then I realized what it was: when I was a child, my favorite poem was “Halfway Down” by A.A. Milne, in his book When We Were Very Young.

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn’t any
Other stair
Quite like
It.

I’m not at the bottom,
I’m not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.
Halfway up the stairs
Isn’t up,
And isn’t down.
It isn’t in the nursery,
It isn’t in the town.

And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head:
“It isn’t really
Anywhere!
It’s somewhere else
Instead!”
 

And like the character in the poem, I used to sit on a stair and look out the window and daydream.