light of the mind

Speaking of books, I paused in reading the Haidt book so I could make some headway with IJ. Still, I want to finish it, especially in light of recent news about mental health and social media and concerns about AI.

All right, so they’re noticing. But it frustrates me how short-sighted so much of this is. Maybe stop stuffing AI into everything or give people a more obvious opt-out?

Well, that’s what happens when a society devalues and defunds the arts and humanities in favor of exponential tech and profit.

Going back to the Haidt book, I’m aware of its issues and the rebuttals against it. And of course with each tech innovation brought to people from the radio onward, people have complained of dangers.

Is it the radio? Is the phone? Or is it more subtle problem of our willingness to let each innovation and convenience chip away at our humanity and our connections?

Thinking about how toxic and cruel the 2000s era of pop culture could be underneath the pink sparkles and Frutiger Aero aesthetics. 

Then the internet increased the speed and widened the reach of this news, along with some truly disturbing events as they happen in real time.

It’s easy to blame the tech and say people shouldn’t have phones or whatever. But I think the problem is the celebrity industry. What brought us into this downward spiral are the twin engines of ego and greed that drive celebrity and creates a toxic celebrity culture. 

I feel bad for humanity as a whole going through this slow boiling frog event. Our minds, our hearts, our souls are so cooked.

In its way, The Hunger Games was prescient. 

Marathon reading session over the holiday weekend and got to… 28%. Oof, like treading water.Excellent writing, though. This book is amazing. The way describes things, introduces characters, and then establishes links and callbacks is genius.

If IJ is riffing off Hamlet, and Hal shares characteristics with the prince, then Marathe and Steeply remind me of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to some extent (or Stoppard’s play about the characters).

I’ve read plenty of long books, books with a large cast of characters, and books about disturbing topics but the combination of all three elements makes IJ a dense and devastating read.

And knowing how things turned out for DFW adds a heavy feeling, too.

If I want to finish this book and complete the quest, I will need to pace myself and take breaks with lighter fluffy books.

IDK. Again this is probably function of my age. I’ve lived long enough to go through some shit and find it hard to read about this much suffering and pain when I know how bad it can be for people IRL.

Again, I think I should have read this book back in the 90s when it came out. I was old enough to read serious books but young enough that life didn’t sit so heavy on my mind.

On the other hand, I appreciate reading it alongside Millennial and Gen Z readers because they can point out things that my old Gen X self might miss.

As I write, I note that what I’m creating is a series of essays about being Gen X and how that makes me a liminal person.

I am, both by timing of my birth and by personal inclination, someone who sits between the two larger generations and the massive cultural shifts their sheer numbers brought with them, namely the Boomers (1946-1964) and the Millennials (1981-1996). ¹

As a liminal person, someone who operates in a liminal space between two larger “rooms”, I have seen myself as a connector and a negotiator between the two groups. I am capable of looking back at the Boomers and looking forward at the Millennials.

As a member of the Gen X cohort, I do share many of the identified traits of the extreme independence and self reliance of the latch key kid, and sarcastic humor.

History is important yes, but live is lived forward. We can’t live in the past, as much as some might want that, but it’s not possible. There will always be resistance to attempts to force people live in the past whether on a personal or societal level. Because of that, I’d rather look and live forward.

Now, as for liminality, I have been through other type of liminal eras in my life, but the liminality has really been protracted in my 50s. I want to understand why and what I can do with this liminality.

So, I’m establishing the tag “liminal” and will dedicate any and all relevant posts, past and present to it.

1. Years are a rough estimate and yes, I acknowledge Gen Jones, Xennials, and Zellinials. ↩︎

Thoughts on my mind today:

Reflection that leads to rumination can be a drag but I see it with the metaphor of a mouse trying to get at a piece of cheese but a barrier (the ego) holds the mouse back from getting that cheese, i.e., the revelation. And that revelation could be:

1. Our perception of a situation was off or outright incorrect, due to biases, lack of information, and false expectations. 


2. Or, our perception was correct but our response to the situation was not good or helpful.

Once you get that “cheese” and digest it, then it nourishes the soul rather than the ego. The work of the soul is harder but yields better results than letting the ego calcify to the point where change is no longer possible because the revelation will never sink in.

And that thought led to the following thoughts:

1. People who insist on you “being realistic” or “be an adult” often themselves have a skewed perception of what those things mean.


2. Those skewed perceptions become something like a security object to the frightened ego.


3. Out of insecurity and unwillingness to do soul work, they want to impose their skewed version of reality onto everyone else.


4. They’re afraid of those who can see situations more clearly because that clarity threatens their skewed perceptions.

Do the soul work! Know thyself!

Reading about the Pope’s statement on AI. Glad someone on that level is speaking up about the issue.

As a tech type, I’m ok with AI helping us to augment our lives. That’s the sort of Star Trek future I always dreamed of.

However, I am not ok with AI being shoved into everything, replacing human creativity and the pushing us aside into a dystopia of obsolescence. That’s the fine point of difference the companies can’t seem to get… or don’t want to get.

And an NPR article about giving paperback books to soldiers during WW2. Yet another reminder of how important literacy is.

I love the non-verbal arts like photography and music. But I also worry that if we don’t keep up print literacy skills, we lose the ability to think and to analyze with reason.

Again, beyond thankful that I grew up when I did, when education and literacy meant something.

“The PC is the LSD of the 1990s.” - Timothy Leary ¹

As much as I love tech, and I’ve been chronically online since 1990, I’ve also been reckoning with how damaging this tech has been to our society, and sadly, is probably contributing to its downfall.

That’s a bitter pill.

But it’s become very evident that our Neolithic brains and bodies are unable to cope with technology and the sheer amount of information it brings to us 24/7.

Technology has ended up as being potent as a drug. We’ve been hallucinating long before AI did.

1. Yes, I know he’s problematic. ↩︎

I’ve been bummed out before but I gotta say, I am perhaps for the first time in my life experiencing anhedonia.

Feels like all the fun has been sucked out of life and nothing matters. Everything has been monetized and turned into sources of bizarre levels of competition and comparison to break up communities and that’s no fun either.

And it’s wild shit, bro. I don’t like it. Nihilism was never my thing.

Now sure, someone will leap in and point out it’s because of menopause. All right, it is a factor. But menopause isn’t going to cover or explain why younger people are feeling anhedonia as well.

 Still, I want to be aware of the problem and where it might be coming from.

Obviously, we’re in a situation where too many have abdicated their humanity , abandoned the social contract, only to look out for their interests at the expense of the greater well being. 

I also think the internet and social media have cooked our brains, myself included. Again, I want to be aware.

Throughout my internet life, I’ve used it for either academic purposes or for pop culture fandoms. Being online was for fun and relaxation.

Now I’ve come to terms with the fact that perhaps a great many more missed the fun part to use the online world to justify their biases and prejudices or to happily accept misinformation and disinformation as fact.

The consensus culture of the 70s, 80s, and 90s that I grew up in is gone. I miss it, because a consensus culture also gave us an agreement on consensus reality and shared experiences. That helped to keep us together.

Now it’s like a million channels all going at once and too many of them are devoted to BS. What used to be fringe then broke through to mainstream acceptance. Watching that development has been disorienting and disconcerting.

Like I’ve been aware of New Age magical thinking since the 70s dolphin and crystals trends and to see elements of that breaking through to the top is, well, it’s a giant red flag that something went terribly wrong with our education system and with public discourse.

As Carl Sagan wrote in The Demon-Haunted World:

I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness.

Knowing the difference between fact and fantasy is necessary for mental health and the functioning of a society. And he wrote that in 1995!

He knew what he was talking about. What I admired about Sagan was his knowledge but also his passion for that knowledge. He presented learning about the cosmos as fun and useful, a worthwhile journey to an understanding rooted in science and fact.

I shudder to think how he would be treated today by the plethora of wackos who are wrecking the 21st century with their dangerous nonsense and golden calves.

What’s the antidote to anhedonia, then? Well I suppose it’s re-cultivating a passion and enthusiasm still based in fact. I have retained at least a sliver of Gen X/Elder Millennial optimism about the internet to remember there are good sites and smart people online; it’s a matter of discernment.